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Taking the Romantic Lead

Kathryn B. Lord, L.C.S.W.

Ever since February 29, I've been thinking about proactive dating and Sadie Hawkins Day. Proactive dating is my term for taking an active role in your romantic life, and is particularly an issue for women. As we all know, the proactive role in romance has been traditionally left to men. 

I knew that Sadie Hawkins Day was reserved for women to take the initiative and do the pursuing. I thought it was always on February 29th, which meant women had only one day every four years to do the asking. I also remembered that the day seemed to have a bit of a country flair, connected to Daisy Mae and Little Abner. 

Well, these days, it doesn't take any time at all on Google to get the low-down, and here it is: 

Sadie Hawkins Day made its debut in Al Capp’s “Little Abner” comic strip on November 13, 1937. Sadie Hawkins was an Al Capp cartoon character, decidedly unattractive, with big feet. Her daddy was Mayor of Dogpatch and held a footrace where the unmarried women chased the bachelors. If a woman caught a man, he had to marry her. And Sadie’s big, fast feet made her a winner. 

Al Capp’s fantasy quickly caught on with the general public, and the first non-cartoon Sadie Hawkins Day took place on November 9, 1939. Sadie Hawkins Day is usually celebrated on the nearest Saturday to November 9, and sometime spreads to the whole week or month. 

So how did February 29, Leap Day, get into the action? 

Seems like the association with women proposing to men came from fifth century Ireland, when St. Brigit convinced St. Patrick to designate a day for single women to choose a mate. St. Brigit did her part, but St. Patrick (a guy) did as little as possible with the one time slot of every four years on February 29. In 1288 a law was passed in Scotland that said any man bold enough to turn down a woman’s proposal on February 29 had to give her a kiss and a pair of gloves or new silk dress. Now, there’s a law worth having. 

Readers of “eMAIL to eMATE” know of my special interest in St. Catherine, the patron Saint of unmarried women. Saint Catherine’s Day is November 25, awfully close to Sadie Hawkins Day of November 9. We need to take special note as November gets nearer. Much better that women have an official month once a year, rather than one day every four.